I believe it’s safe to say that this is the college football game of the year. Can I say that without being chastised? Ok good, now that we got that out of the way, I want to spill my brain out as to my thoughts on this game. No, not how this game is going to impact the layout of the College Football Playoff, or how if Miami wins, it’s going to shake up the college football landscape for the foreseeable future.
No no, what I want to tell you about is just how much I truly, deep down in the bottom of my soul with every fiber of my being, LOATHE Notre Dame.
Believe me when I say that Notre Dame is not a Catholic university, it’s actually a front for Satan. It’s not a coincidence that Brian Kelly turns super red when he yells at his players on the sideline.
I honestly cannot begin to describe or even remotely begin to pinpoint the moment I realized my hatred for Notre Dame was so strong. But one thing I will say is that the sun shines a little bit brighter, the sky is a little bit bluer, and the grass is greener when Notre Dame loses.
The turning point for me was during their “magical” run in 2012 when Manti Te’o was making his “tremendous” Heisman campaign (he was a middle linebacker on a good defense, of course he led the nation in tackles). When the ESPN analysts said “The fact that Manti Te’o goes to Notre Dame is going to give him an edge over everyone else in the Heisman voting.” WHAT?! Why does that even matter?! Notre Dame sucks and I am so glad that they got destroyed by Alabama that year. Also, nobody in the world was happier than me when the news came out that Manti Te’o’s girlfriend who had supposedly passed away turned out to not even be a real living human being. That was my favorite news story of all time.
For the most of you who have been keeping up with me and my writing, I find hypocrisy to be at the height of things I hate, right behind canned tuna. Well folks, Notre Dame is Latin for “hypocrisy”.
All of those things being said, it is IMPERATIVE that the Miami Hurricanes rise to the occasion, fulfill their potential and destroy Notre Dame on Saturday.
Miami is the most exciting team in college football right now. The Turnover Chain, the colors, their heritage of blowing out their opponents so badly that teams would look for excuses to keep the clock running. It all is the best thing to happen to the NCAA and anyone in their right mind wants to root for Miami over Notre Dame.
And don’t even give me the excuse that “you’re Catholic so you have to root for Notre Dame”. That excuse is lame and overplayed. Just because Notre Dame is in Indiana that means I should move there? Or Notre Dame has their own TV station on campus so I have to watch NBC to support? That excuse can go fry ice.
BOO Notre Dame, BOO Brian Kelly, BOO their stupid golden helmets, BOO the movie Rudy (Rudy was offsides anyway), BOO “winning one for the “Gipper”, BOO the “Touchdown Jesus” mural that’s stupid, BOO their stupid leprechaun, BOO Lou Holtz and his lisp, BOO their overpriced campus, BOO Brady Quinn, praise their horrible money management as they continue to pay Charlie Weis for his services, BOO all their alumni who wear their class ring as if it is an appendage of their body, BOO the people who blindly root for Notre Dame simply because they’ve chosen to worship Brian Kelly the same as they worship Jesus Christ, BOO their stupid colors, BOO their self-righteous, holier than thou attitude as they roll around the United States maximizing their copyright infringement cases against small high schools, and most importantly BOOOOOOOOO their over-rated football team.
Feel free to comment, argue with me on Twitter, or find me in the streets of El Paso to tell me why I'm wrong. But just know that I am not wrong ever and Notre Dame still sucks.
Miami by a billion.