Welcome back to yet another edition of the Irrational NFL Recap! Alright folks, from here on out, I will be changing up the format of the Irrational NFL Recap. From here on out, the only games I’m going to talk about are the ones that matter aka games that only have some form of playoff implications. Unless something really notable happens in whatever game the Broncos play in, but probably not because they’re the Broncos.
Let’s get to the recap!
Chargers 13 - Chiefs 30: Let me tell you all something, Philip Rivers is the single most overrated quarterback in the history of quarterbacks. He STINKS OUT LOUD and I cannot wait until he crashes and burns this season just like every other season that he plays in. Boo that man. Oh and the Chiefs have probably earned their right to get bounced in the first round of the playoffs. Whoop de doo.
Texans 7 - Jaguars 45: Here we have the rare exhibit of Josele dancing on graves. I have been riding the Blake Bortles train for a good while now. He is actually good and I love the Jaguars. #JagginOff
Ravens 27- Browns 10: Water is wet, the sky is blue, and the Baltimore Ravens beat the Cleveland Browns. Shocker.
Packers 24 - Panthers 31: Here we are in the trust tree folks. I hate Cam Newton for beating the “Team of Destiny.” The Packers have been officially eliminated from playoff contention because the Falcons beat Tampa Bay. I am very sad. *sigh* *sticks head in blender*
Dolphins 16 - Bills 24: Bills Mafia got to jump all over the throats of the Dolphins. I guess this counts as an important playoff implication game?
Bengals 7 - Vikings 34: Case Keenum has unbelievably led the Vikings to a big time season. I am flabbergasted. I also hate the Vikings. (yes I know my sports life is very bleak right now).
Eagles 34 - Giants 29: Looks like B. D. Foles struggled a little bit but maybe, just maybe, they will ride their “talent” to a divisional round playoff loss to one of the 3 NFC South potential playoff teams.
Jets 19 - Saints 31: Drew FeBrees slapped the Jets around. Shocker. I mean come on, why do I as a fan have to watch this nonsense. I DON’T WANT TO WATCH THE JETS IN DECEMBER.
Rams 42 - Seahawks 7: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA THE SEAHAWKS ARE FRAUDS AND THEY’RE OFFICIALLY DONE. STICK A FORK IN THEM, THEY ARE DONE! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Patriots 27 - Steelers 24: I commented on Supreme Leader Trey’s Facebook conversation about this game. So allow me to do the ole college “Copy/Paste.”
“People can complain all they want about the bad rule and yada yada. I admit that it is a bad rule and I am not a Patriots fan. I’m a Packers fan. That being said, I absolutely love the systematic annihilation of teams that is orchestrated by Belichick. Maybe instead of whining and grieving for the 3 minutes and 27 seconds that it took to debate the outcome of the “catch/non-catch” the Steelers should’ve been coming up with a contingency plan in case the call was overturned. Instead, dopey-looking Roethlisberger stood on the sideline alongside equally dopey-looking Mike Tomlin and just stood there with their mouth agape. Maybe they should’ve been figuring out what to do for the upcoming 3 potential plays they had. Maybe then, they could’ve had a better idea as to what to do instead of running a stupid fake-spike play. A play that the Patriots practice every week. I mean seriously, who does Big Ben think he is trying to outsmart the smartest man in the NFL? Of course the Patriots won.
Also, there’s no way the NFL actually favors the Patriots. The NFL ran a $10 million witch hunt, took away draft picks, fined them $1 million all for allegedly taking a smidgeon of air out of a couple of footballs.”
Cowboys 20 - Raiders 17: I guess this counts? I hate the Cowboys so seeing them beat the eyeliner-wearing Derek Carr was less than ideal. And now they get Ezekiel Elliot back for the last two weeks of their meaningless season.
Falcons 24 - Buccaneers 21: *Heavy Sigh* Look I needed Jameis to win this game. I NEEDED it. I needed the “Team of Destiny” to have even a sliver of hope. Instead, Matty Stupid Ryan cussed at his receivers on national TV and eliminated the Packers from the playoffs. Excuse me while I put away my green and gold gear for the winter.
Catch ya next week!