The 2018 NBA Playoffs are officially underway. It’s that time of the year again when we are all so lucky and we get to wait 2 days in-between games in one series. It’s absolutely ridiculous that I have to wait 2 days to watch the Timberwolves (or 2012 Chicago Bulls as I like to call them) offense be completely inept and stagnant and have Derrick Rose, with a combined half a knee on roughly 3/4 combined good legs, run around for 4 seconds and shoot a 27 foot contested jumper instead of giving the ball to Karl Anthony-Towns and have him score two points almost at any given time. It’s maddening. Just let them play 4 days in a row so we can move the show along.
However, that’s not the point of this blog. In this blog, I’m going to be highlighting the best and worst jerseys of the teams in the NBA Playoffs and how each team should perform on the court in relation to how fire their jerseys are. Now before I get all of you up in my mentions about the jerseys I chose to critique, I want to point out that I chose what I think is the coolest jersey they team has. So each team is being graded on what I believe to be their strongest jersey. Also, it’s important to remember that subjective opinions can’t be wrong or right, except mine… mine are always correct and if you agree with me great; if not, you’re wrong. Let’s get started:
Houston did a wonderful job of making these jerseys be subtle and clean-cut looking. It’s hard to dog on a jersey that keeps it simple with 3 colors. Also, the jersey does a superb job of making sure the referees are too distracted to notice James Harden taking roughly 39 steps while hitting a step back jumper right in Jeff Teague’s face. Official Grade: B+
Golden State Warriors:
I’ll be honest, these jerseys stink out loud. Combine that with the fact that they have like 84 jersey combinations, I had to choose what I think is the best one, and I’m certainly not going to pick any of the jerseys that say The Town, The City, or The Bay. The Golden State Warriors have enough accolades as it is. Official Grade: F
Portland Trail Blazers:
This jersey also is simple and understated yet very powerful. Not even the stinkiness of CJ McCollum can muck this jersey up. The way the thick stripes are used to make the colors pop is almost as impressive as Damian Lillard’s innate ability to hit big time, game-winning, buzzer-beating threes. Official Grade: A
I should just stop this blog here because I don’t think there is a jersey out there that can top it. The white on white uniforms with the vibrant pink and stunning blue that make the jersey reach the Hall of Fame with relative ease. Man, these jerseys even make the 127 year old Dwyane Wade look good. Official Grade: A+ (Quick side note, not many people talk about how messed up Dwyane Wade spells his name. Like what a jerk for spelling his name D-W-Y-A-N-E instead of Dwayne like a normal person. My word document is littered with red squiggly lines in this paragraph because of his stupid name. Dwyane…Dwyane…Dwyane. It doesn’t get easier. Jerk.)
Well well well, my longtime archnemesis LeBron James and I meet yet again. I’m man enough to admit when my opponent pulls one over on me and beats me fair and square. LBJ has suffered several losses at my hand. It is my sheer force of fandom and my ability to loathe LeBron more than anyone else that has made him lose so laughably in the Finals all those years. The years that he didn’t lose, well it clearly wasn’t him that won other than when he used mind control powers to make Draymond Green suddenly love kicking people in the balls and that’s simply not fair. When it comes to this jersey however, this is as fresh as fresh can get. When the NBA announced that they were going to start having corporate sponsors, I was not a fan, and for the most part, I’ve been totally right. They make the almost all the jerseys look atrocious…except Cleveland. The Nike Swoosh and the Goodyear logo provide a nice juxtaposition with the big “C” logo in the middle. In short, LeBron and his attitude stinks but the jerseys are fire. Official Grade: A
Let me use this blog as a platform to pose to the readers a question. What would you readers think about us (The ASB Crew) doing a video series of us talking sports while sitting in a barbershop? Like just some guys talking sports, chit chatting about dude stuff while getting a haircut. I think that would be good right? We can call it something like ASB Chat-n-Cuts. Let me know what you think!